More of the Shit List!!

A daily helping of the K-Dunk Report Shit List is essential for maintaining healthy brain function. (These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA)
So with that in mind, here's a generous helping of the Shit List!

• Shirley Phelps-Roper: This piece of shit and her brain-dead followers protest at military funerals brandishing signs with disgusting anti-gay slurs, even going so far as to take pleasure in the fact that a young man who was murdered because of his sexual orientation is "burning in hell." Sadly, this slug is allowed to reproduce and breed a new generation of little dirtbags. She and her kids are the reason we should keep abortion legal. It's a sad world when dirt like this woman can have...wait for it...eleven kids, yet a loving couple cannot simply because they happen to be of the same gender.
• George W. Bush: Still an idiot.
• Michael Savage: This shitwad, who was fired from his MSNBC show after referring to a caller as a "sodomite" and telling him that he should "get AIDS and die", deserves to die a slow, agonizing death. We can only dream.

And that's it for this version of our list of people who deserve to get shot and pissed on. Have a great week!

The K-Dunk Report Shit List!!

It has been a while, hasn't it? If you need your memories refreshed, the K-Dunk Report Shit List is our listing of shitty people and things (but mostly people because it is more fun). Currently, Shandi Finnesy, Donald Trump, and Bill O' Reiley share the honors. But what Saturday night would be complete without an induction ceremony honoring the latest fuckwads in the world? So, without further ado, here they are:

• Gen. Peter Pace: A few weeks ago, this twat referred to homosexual acts as "immoral", and indicated that the U.S. should not condone immoral behavior. Classy.
• The Double Standard: In the wake of the firing of radio host Don Imus, the country became enthralled in a debate about the use of racial and sexist terminology. The bottom line is that there is a blatant double standard when it comes to using certain words. While what Imus said was inexcusable, rappers and hip hop artists use worse words to refer to women all the time, yet they are allowed to get away with it. I think that everybody, regardless of race, should be held to the same standard.

And that's it for now, folks! Hmm....surely there must be more people that we hate....

Good Morning!

Good morning, all! My name is Shaneese, and I am the newest contributor here at The K-Dunk Report! I'll be contributing my reports from the field, throwing in my own two cents whenever I feel like yacking my mouth, and filling in for Kevan when he is suffering one of his bouts of caffeine intoxication or otherwise OD'd on some sort of legal substance. I can't tell you what a thrill it is to be here, working with some of the best "talent" in the "industry", and contributing my work to this outstanding medium for "journalism" is a life dream of mine, and by that I mean I decided to do it late one night while lying in a puddle of my own piss after downing seventy three colas in a two hour period. Hey, nobody said journalism was glamerous!!

Winter Storm Number 2??

A Winter Storm Watch has been issued for these here parts, in advance of an approaching storm that could leave between five and seven inches of snow, on top of the ice that is already accumulated on the ground. Don't forget to check out our Photo Album for an idea as to what its like around here, and stay tuned for more on this epic drama. Seriously, folks, this shit deserves an Oscar or something.......I don't know what that means....my best guess is that its 7am, and I am tired and buzzed on diet soda at the same time.

Winter Storm Update

Fluctuating temperatures are causing the ice to melt and re-freeze, which is making the roads more slick and more hazardous. Temperatures are expected to creep above freezing tomorrow, but another blast of winter weather is being forecast for the weekend, so whatever precipitation falls will stick to the ice that is already on the ground, making conditions worse. We're continually uploading pictures to our photo album, and they're quite the spectacle! Be sure to check them out and stay tuned to The K-Dunk Report for updates!

Sliding Around Town

Every road, front lawn, driveway, and any other imaginable exposed surface is coated in a thick layer of pure ice, making it almost impossible to even walk.

Temperatures remain extremely frigid, and are not expected to reach freezing levels until at least Wednesday, so the ice will remain until then and will continue to stay tightly packed in, making travel quite trecherous.

Our intrepid and (hopefully) warm-blooded reporters and photographers are out as we speak, monitoring conditions, laughing at various phallus-shaped icesicles, and snapping photos. Stay tuned and we'll keep you up to date around the clock with a new round of photos up soon!! (and, no, there will be no penis-shaped icecicles)

Ice Storm Update

The ice has stopped falling throughout the region, but every exposed surface is covered in at least an inch of ice. Roads remain extremely slick and hazardous, and more than 150,000 people are without electrical power across the area, including the entire town of Jay, Oklahoma. Shelters are being set up all across the region to assist those without power at home. The major concern now is the extreme cold, as temperatures are in the teens, with single-digit wind chills. Residents are being advised to say inside and avoid all travel unless absolutely necessary.
We here at the K-Dunk Report are working around the clock, snapping photographs and getting in-depth information about this massive storm. Stay tuned for more!

Ice Storm!

A major ice storm is blowin' through these parts. About an inch of ice is already coating all exposed surfaces, and all forecasts are indicating another major round of ice coming through tomorrow afternoon. Of course, our fearless photographers and journalists are out as we speak, snapping photos that should be online within the hour. Stay tuned, folks!